Apple Turnover

I think I need to add a cast of characters or some type of directory on here. Not only will it help me keep straight the fictitious names that I have given to all of these people I know, but it also will help any reader I may one day get sort of keep track of things.

My secretary that I am replacing -- the one who no-called no-showed on Monday -- was back in action today for her final farewell. We were informed that she had a bit of a breakdown due to a break-up with a boyfriend and that this break-up lead her to a hospital. Well, that is obviously not good. She is fine, though, and it was nice to see her today. And her name is Apple. That much I can remember.

I interviewed four candidates to replace her today. Times are desperate. When one asked when I wanted her to start if she gets the job, I responded, "Think of it this way: my office is on fire right now, and I am interviewing firemen." That about sums it up.

Of the four today, I really liked the one who worked in the Peace Corps. I have a soft spot for people who do things like that. Of course, it also makes me feel like a loser because I never did anything like that. The closest thing I ever did to joining the Peace Corps was probably buy some poor guy a beer at the bar in law school. Is that comparable on any scale at all?

I also was able to start catching up on my messages from the week today. I always feel like a jackass when I start a conversation with, "Hi, Mr. Owens, I am returning your call from five days ago. How are you? Do you need help? Is your case already over? Have you already been sentenced to die?" Most of them have no problem with it at all and are just happy that I am calling them back.

Tomorrow I have four more interviews set up. I hope to have the newest employee working Monday. If someone starts working for me on December 10th, what sort of obligation am I under to give her a Christmas bonus? It's like going out on a first date on February 13th.